oodles are a cheap and abundant food source for many Montrealers. I thought I would go see what was what with Montreal noodleries. It was decided to concentrate only on the noodle joints featured prominently on various Montreal “best-of” lists.
The quest was started at Just Noodles. You do not want to come here for the atmosphere. In fact, as it turns out, you don’t want to come here for the noodles, either. Fast food meets Chinese in a garish, ghastly fluorescent room adorned by the bare minimum of furnishings, which are merely a nod to the concept of “chair and table.” The staff is bored and perfunctory in the worst lackadaisical manner encountered in quite some time -- in fact, ever since my last trip to Canadian Tire.
For a place that bills itself as “Just Noodles”, there are an awful lot of non-noodle dishes on the menu. Barely half of the menu items actually qualify as involving noodles at all. Like Chinese places citywide, there are spring rolls and soups and stir fries and Szechuan and fried rices. Then there are Japanese-style, Thai-style, Singapore-style, Vietnamese-style, and finally, Chinese-style noodles. It is difficult to choose what style to order, perhaps for fear of precipitating a Noodle World War.
In true point-and-click fashion, a forefinger is deposited upon the menu and the selection is “Ginger and green onion beef Lo Mein.” Lo mein is usually a flat, linguini-shaped egg noodle in a stirfry.
In frightening speed -- three minutes, to be precise -- we are served with something that looks and smells nothing like we expected. “Fishy, off” is one comment. “The beef is grey,” is another. And these are not Lo Mein noodles, but apparently, briefly reheated roundworms.
With a taste, things grow much worse. It is without doubt the saltiest meal I have ever had: it tastes like what would be the result of putting six packets of Cup Noodle seasonings all into one cup, then adding only half the water. It is for all intents and purposes inedible, and that’s the way we leave it: two thirds unfinished. Just Noodles’ sole saving grace is that the entire meal cost $6 (tax included).
Then there is Soupe et Nouilles. If it is a noodle, it will be churned out here at a frenetic pace in monolithic servings that bring new meaning to the term “tall food.” The menu is sprawling, filled with soups and noodles Vietnamese, Thai, Cantonese, Hong Kong, Szechuan and Japanese style. (Where, I wonder, is the small alpine kingdom of Bhutan represented in all of this bounty?)
Not wanting to slight any particular ethnicity, an order is made for the Singapore vermicelli, Pad Thai noodles and Fujiyama spaghetti (named after the towering volcano for a very good reason, as I am to find out.)
Fujiyama spaghetti from Soupe et Nouilles
Singapore vermicelli from Soupe et Nouilles
The portions are way beyond finishability, at least for me, but the Singapore noodles are packed with vegetables and meat in an authentic dry curry and the Fujiyama Spaghetti is a stupefyingly mountainous smorgasbord of egg noodles, beef, chicken and vegetables in a cloyingly soy-ish coating that fills one up before even a quarter of the platter is demolished. The Pad Thai, however, is not enjoyed by all. “Saturated with MSG” is one disparaging comment. Still, the price is right: with two spring rolls the entire evening comes to around $22.
A step up in the noodle world is found at Zyng on St. Denis. This is a “concept” noodle place, and the concept isn’t bad: you choose the type of noodle you want, along with the main ingredient, sauce and vegetable serving, and it’s delivered in a bowl. The surroundings are woody and pleasant, and the server is perky and helpful. Beer is available, a practical prerequisite to a proper noodle-fest.
An arbitrary concoction of Lo Mein-chicken-Szechuan sauce-chef’s choice vegetables is decided upon, and the result is a normal-sized portion served in a black bowl and accompanied with rectangular black plates. This is more like it: the green and red peppers, broccoli, bok choy and moist chicken swim in a not-overly sweet, not-overly spicy sauce over al-dente egg noodles. It’s more expensive than our other tasting grounds but the quality, atmosphere, and beer make it more than worth it.
All three places were packed to the gills in a manner reminiscent of, well, packages of Top Ramen. Which just goes to show that those out to eat good, cheap food on a budget are just using their noodle. -- Reviewed by Chef Nick
- Just Noodles, 2061 Ste-Catherine W. | Tel. 514-989-5826
- Soupe et Nouilles, 1871 Ste-Catherine W. | Tel. 514-933-0531
- Zyng, 1748 St-Denis | Tel. 514-284-2016
