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5843 Sherbrook West (NDG)
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Open daily except Monday for breakfast all day—6 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tel.: 486-3814
 Carl Sagan would probably have had this to say about Cosmos: "BILLLions . . . and BILLLions . . . of CALories . . . at Cosmos . . . enough to conSUME the solar PLEXUS many times OVER . . ."
That's a bit of an exaggeration, but this unassuming snack bar is justly famous for its no-holds-barred griller warfare approach to breakfast cuisine. If you harbor the least bit of doubt on this issue, just try the Mish Mash omelette: four eggs, bacon, sausage, ham, salami, tomato, onion, cheese and toast.
Cosmos is the child of Tony Koulakis, a Greek ex-pat who was immortalised a couple of years back in an award-winning independent documentary film called "Man of Grease, " a chronicle of his thirty years' slaving over a hot stove without a vacation and his joyful journey back to the land of his birth.
Calling it a "diner" is overstating Cosmos—it's barely big enough to qualify as a hole in the wall. With only 11 stools at the counter, the chaos one will encounter on a busy weekend can only be imagined.
 Today, however, at 8:30 on a frosty Sunday morning, Koulakis actually has time to sit and smoke one of his many cigarettes while impossibly energetic daughter Nikki chops ingredients and chides "Boss," as she calls her father, for "not doing your work."
Koulakis, at 66, is now semi-retired (he only works on weekends) but he personally takes charge of my "Good Morning Burger," a hamburger with bacon, cheese and a fried egg, becoming one with the grill that almost bears grooves in it from his spatula.
Today, I am not man enough for the Mish Mash, but other items look intriguing (if you're a cardiologist): the "Creation" sandwich: fried egg, bacon, salami, cheese, lettuce and tomato ($4.75); the Mixed Grill: 2 eggs any style and mix of all meats (salami, ham, sausage and bacon, $8.50); a "Veggie Creation" sandwich: fried egg, fried onions, fried cheese, fried lettuce, fried tomato ($4.25). Okay, just kidding about the last few items, but you get my drift.
 It really is like being in the Koulakises' kitchen. There are photos and clippings on the refrigerator. There's a letter from Nia Vardalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) to the maker of the documentary, Ezra Soiferman, saying how much she liked the film and vowing to come to Cosmos on her next trip. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of bills of various currencies tacked to the walls. And there is the vast grill, where my burger is coming to fruition.
It's an ungainly thing, this tower of glistening grillinary elements, the bottom roll spread with French's mustard and a little Heinz relish, but it tastes like a confluence of the Four Heavenly Hussars of Griddledom, with the addition of the fried egg raising it to the stratum of mystical thaumaturgy. Okay, so I exaggerate, but it's pretty good.
My counterpal's two eggs any style with salami and hash browns looks mighty appealing, too, and is gone in a flash.
 It is entertaining to merely sit and watch father and daughter's graceful interaction, with Nikki keeping up a ceaseless patter about this and that (and the other) while chopping, slicing and dicing, peeling a vast salami or decapitating beefsteak tomatoes. A vat of potatoes is boiling while another is frying and another is being shovelled, half-cooked, under the counter for when the rush starts.
There are alternatives to morning food, but not many. The "Burgers and Lunches" section features a "Hamburger Steak" as the most expensive item ($6.50) and if grease is not on your agenda, you can opt for a tuna, lettuce and tomato sandwich ($4.00), or (gods forbid) a Cosmos salad ($3.50.)
But if it's cosmic visions you're after, you'd be better off, perhaps, with the "Mish Mash for two." With the calorie count firmly in the billions, you'll make a pretty good cosmologist yourself.
—Reviewed by Nick Robinson
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